So much has happened in the last few days. I don't think I have the energy to write every detail. After many miscommunications, hold ups, and frustrations, it has been determined that Seattle treatments are off the table. Clint's MRI on Saturday was not good news.
Clint's MRI revealed a massive butterfly shaped tumor reaching into both halves of his brain. Without treatment, he has about a month to live. We are pursuing local treatment with Avastin (it works to kill the blood vessels in tumors, making it impossible for them to grow) and regular radiation. It is unknown if Clint's tumor will respond, given how aggressive it is. Doing this treatment will hopefully buy us some time. I pray it works. I pray for much more time and a recovery of function. Even so, it is really hard preparing to let go of the love of my life. I am not ready. I will never be ready.
Clint's function is declining every day, and he has a really hard time responding and getting the words out he wants to say. I reassure him that I know he's still in there and I know what he wants to say. He has much confusion and has a hard time getting things in the right order, including simple everyday processes. It breaks my heart seeing his hands shake so hard he can't take his medications without assistance. His life must literally be monitored 24/7. I know this is very frustrating for him because he is such an independent soul! But he knows he is loved. Felicity had fun bringing him all the kitchen utensils she could find today, and it made him smile. I am so glad he has not lost the ability to smile, and I pray that never goes away.
Clint's mom is with us, and she plans to stay for the duration. We hope his dad and brother can make it out as well. We are planning to make some good memories in the next couple weeks. From the day we found out we were pregnant with Felicity, Clint has always said he wanted to take his child to the zoo, so we plan to take that trip on Sunday. We also got some bears from Build-A-Bear, one for Clint, one for Felicity. Felicity recorded a message for Clint on the voice recorder that goes in the bears paw when you squeeze it....in her cute little voice, she said "Da-EE!" (which is how she says daddy, her favorite person in the world). Clint's message for Felicity was "Daddy loves you, Felicity." I am so glad we recorded this quite a few days ago while he was able to speak well. I know she will cherish that bear for life. I really want to take him to Uncork and Unwind in Tumwater, they are an amazing place with the best service....unparalleled. (They have many beverages of choice on the menu, and have already offered to serve coffee in a wine glass so he can blend in). I hope we can make it over there, he would really love it.
With all that being said, my sweet sweet sister set up a fundraising site to help with expenses that will be arising. Please don't feel like I'm begging for donations. I'm not. But if you wish to help, please know that it is appreciated and does help tremendously. http://www.gofundme.com/crs8d0
I will keep posting updates and pictures of the memories we create. For friends who are able and wanting to see Clint now, I strongly urge you to make a visit before things progress.
Thank you for all your prayers and support, please don't stop.