Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Surrender

We have arrived at a very difficult point in this whole process, and that is the surrender part.  It appears the Avastin treatment did not work, and Clint's functioning declines daily.  He remains positive and strong inside, and I applaud him for that.  We are at the point where there is nothing more man or medicine can do, and we have called Hospice in to keep him comfortable (and they have been wonderful).  Clint is in our Heavenly Father's hands, and I surrender him to the Lord.

I realize that Clint was God's to begin with, and I was entrusted with Clint's care as his wife and caregiver.  I meant my wedding vows when I said "In sickness and in health" and "For better or for worse" - and unfortunately, we faced sickness and worse.  But Clint is worth it all.  I have done my best to be a good steward with my husband and our marriage, and as his overall caretaker.  I love him dearly, and I will always love him.  I don't know what God plans to do or why all this has happened, but ultimately the answers don't matter...what matters is what I do with what I'm given.  And I choose to trust God.  His ways are higher than my ways, and His thoughts higher than my own.  HE knows what He is doing.  And I surrender all to Him and praise Him through it all, regardless of what happens.

In preparing for the worst, it's really hard to continue hoping for the best, but I do continue to hold out that hope.  When man and medicine can do nothing, it's a perfect time for a miracle...and it would be a miracle that no one but God could take credit for.  We still ask God for it while surrendering all to Him.

I had a conversation with Clint a while ago.  I told him that sometimes people have a "Jesus" moment where they stand on the edge of life and death with the Lord, and they have a choice...do they stay or go?  If Clint ever has that moment, I told him to choose Jesus.  I never want to hold him here in suffering when he could have a full restoration with Jesus.  I never want to be a selfish wife.  I love him too much for that.  I know Jesus will be with me and Felicity always, and He will continue to provide for all our needs.  We will see Clint again in heaven, and I know it will come at the right time.

One Last Date:

I decided to take Clint out on a date last night; it was probably our last and final date.  We went to Uncork & Unwind in Tumwater.  It is an amazing place with unparalleled service.  Michelle Pierce, the owner, set up a table for us with a beautiful vase full of flowers (which she sent home with us, along with a bottle of the white port we each had a glass of - thank you!)  Michelle really made that final date special for us.  THANK YOU MICHELLE.  Here are pictures of our date night:


Delicious white coffee port with Creme Brulee Cheesecake (Clint) and Uninterrupted Chocolate (me, of course!)

The dessert menu - AMAZING...I recommend the Coffee Port

We used the cards in the flowers to seal up little love notes for each other.

This was such a special and very romantic date for Clint and me.  Uncork & Unwind made it possible and unforgettable.


I would like to add that Michelle is hosting a benefit auction on Clint's behalf at Uncork & Unwind on September 7th at 4:00 p.m.  There will be food, wine, and many donated items up for silent auction, and it will be a beautiful event celebrating Clint's life, and our life together as a family.  I plan to be there, and I invite you to join us.  For anyone wishing to donate an item for auction, please contact my sister Stephanie Lund at stephaniealund@gmail.com.

Much Love
Reini

9 comments:

  1. For the Silent Auction, we have an early bird special going. If you sign up before September 1, the cover charge is only $20. After that, it will be $25 either online or at the door. You can register now at www.hopeforclint.eventbrite.com.

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  2. Here is the link to the event if you would like to register: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/hope-for-clint-fundraiser-tickets-12677032345?aff=eorg

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  3. A couple of years ago I had the privilege to meet Clint. What an amazing man who was able to make my friend so happy. When we were younger, Reini and I laughed together and cried together. Friend, from afar I still smile when seeing your post and still cry when I see you hurt. I am praying for you and your family and well as believing with you that God's will be done in Clint's life as well as in your own.

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  4. Your family continues to be in my prayers.

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  5. Reini, you are one awesome woman. You definitely are in God's hands & have God in your heart. Clint is so lucky he found you & I know you feel the same about him.
    You are all in our prayers always.
    We love you guys,
    Renae & Rick

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  6. Clint beat the Big C before, we can only pray that he does a repeat. With Him on our side(Side)anything is possible. He looks good, his long legs have given me a run for my money on daily walks! lol Slow down my Brother, I know that is not in your character, a Ranger drives through it. Always pushing on, meeting your next obstacle face to face and winning. Wishing you the best in your recovery, stay strong.

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  7. They say He takes the good before their time. I can only speculate that He wants some brave soul to clear the way for the rest of us. Making our transition an easy one. Clint will have the path well lit for us. Thank you Clint for sharing on our walks, they have one less spark since your recovery keeps you guarded. God, bless Clint and his family; Blood, Marriage, Veteran and All that he touched. A huge following of Spirits. If he needs a miracle, now is the time to back it up or forge forward with His plan, that choice is up to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

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  8. A Godly Man

    07192014.mmitm.mjb.bread
    His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3 NKJV

    A godly man is not a stone,
    But bread that has been broken…
    Not a dry wasteland of emotion,
    But a flowing stream of kindness and compassion…
    Not a tower of hardened steel,
    But a living tree that bends in the storm…
    Not a harsh, self-centered ruler,
    But a servant who seeks the highest good of others…
    Not a cold, rigid sign-post,
    But a guide who wisely leads through example…
    Not an indifferent, casual observer,
    But a caring communicator who speaks from the heart…
    Not a self-sufficient individual who wants to go it alone,
    But an abiding branch who is totally dependent upon the Living God.

    by Ron Lessin

    Godliness is useful and of value in everything and in every way, for it holds promise for the present life and also for the life which is to come. 1 Timothy 4:8 AMP


    Clint, I know you are a godly man and remember experiencing it during one of NCC's Youth Winter camps that we chaperoned at.
    It was during worship service one of the evenings and the worship team had paused for a time of prayer, to encourage everyone to allow themselves to really come into the Lord's presence and truly worship. It was at this time you spoke up and exhorted the youth, (as only you can in your candid & somewhat "rough" tone), to let go of whatever was bogging them down, distracting them, to focus on the Lord, because He was present and they should give Him the attention He deserved in worship. Pretty much told them to "get over themselves" and get with the program.
    Well the Holy Spirit fell on the room like a "wave" and some started to pray, open up to the Lord, confessing things to Him, praying for/with others and just an overall release of God's power on many, many individuals. I kinda wondered if that was something like the day of Pentecost when He came upon the disciples in the upper room.
    So thank you for being you, who you are and allowing God to use you...a godly man.

    God is with you and now you are truly with the Father.

    Submitted by Gloria Rhodes

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